Tag Archives: Editing

Sunday Sermon

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Sunday Sermon 1I’m not religiously inclined, not at all, which is probably a bit of a disappointment for my brother Rod, who is the Uniting Church minister for beautiful Phillip Island in Victoria. He has his own manse and everything, with a pretty church right in the backyard. He is also an aspiring author of young adult fantasy. I may be no church-goer, but I’m a great admirer of witty and/or unusual perspectives on ordinary things. So when Rod told me about a recent sermon he gave, (yes he actually gave this sermon!) I just had to share part of it. What writer could resist this editorial take on an excerpt from the Gospel of Mark! 🙂

Mark 1:9-15 ‘In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan.  And just as he was coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like a dove on him.  And a voice came from heaven, ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’ And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness.  He was in the wilderness for forty days, and he was tempted by Satan; and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him. Now after John was arrested, Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God …’

“In fewer than 150 words Mark covers Jesus baptism, the temptations and the beginning of his ministry.  The baptism gets the most coverage, about 65 words – telling us about the descent of the Spirit.

I can imagine what Mark’s editor would have said.

‘Now Mark, it is important to jump into the action, especially with a fast-moving narrative like yours, but really, you have to bring your readers with you. Show not tell – not even much telling here. You’ve done all right with John – camel’s hair, wild locusts – that’s good, we get a sense of someone unique, fanatical even, calling for change – you could do more, still, it’s ok. But with Jesus, your main character – ‘In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptised by John in the Jordan.’ I mean, really. It’s lame.

What was he doing in Nazareth?  Why did he go to John – I mean if he was as special is you imply in the rest of the story?   Take us into the event – we have to be there. Was it hot? Were there crowds? Was the water muddy? What about a conversation, with someone in the crowd, or John?  And that voice and vision – it gives a whole new meaning to ‘omniscient narrator’. Who heard it, who saw it?  Describe the reaction of the crowd: amazement, fear. Bit of work there I think.

Now, the next part.  Wilderness is good.  From the deserts the prophets come.  Grounding himself in God, people will get that. But, honestly, forty days blah, blah, blah – ‘and he was tempted by Satan.’  And he was tempted by Satan!  My God, is that all you can say.  Ultimate battle between good and evil – that’s what you’re writing about– ‘and he was tempted by Satan’. How was he tempted?  What was it like for him?  Did he nearly give in?  That’s good, he almost fails – try that.  We have to be there, we have to feel for ourselves what he was going through, the struggle, the turmoil.  Lot of work there, but done right it could set up the whole story.  Oh and get rid of the angels – we could all vanquish Satan if we had angels. The next bit, again it’s good that you don’t hit the reader over the head by explaining every little detail but perhaps a bit more wouldn’t hurt.  I know you’re concerned about the word count.  Honestly there’s nothing to worry about. Anyway have a think about what I’m suggesting.  I’ll see you again in a couple of weeks … Ah, Matthew, come in.’ ”

Thanks Rod.  ‘ … and get rid of the angels.’ I love it!  

BB14

Knowing When You’re Done …

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editing 3I’m in the middle of final edits for next year’s release, Billabong Bend. One of the most difficult things for writers, published or unpublished, is knowing when the book is done. It’s easier, of course, with a book under contract. You have a deadline, and an editor who has her own wise opinions. But it can still be a fraught question, and not just for writers. I’ve heard of painters who see their work on exhibition, and want to whip out the paint brush then and there, and of composers who want to change chords in published pieces. Countless changes will spring to mind on the final read. Here are the main things I think about.

editing 11. Check the writing – Spelling? Grammar?  Overuse of adverbs or filler phrases? Tautologies or unnecessary dialogue tags? In this latest draft of Billabong Bend, characters were shaking and nodding their heads all the time, and driving my editor mad! These stage directions can aid a first draft when the writer is telling themselves the story. Like um or ah when speaking, they allow thinking time. But they do not belong in a final draft. Do a search for words you might have overused. Remove them.

2. Dialogue – By now you should know what your characters sound like. Read dialogue aloud, assessing vocabulary, sentence length, use of contractions, etc. Make sure the word choices you’ve made add up to a  consistent and unique voice. You don’t want your characters all sounding the same.

editing 23 Follow each thread to its logical conclusion – It might be the progress of your protagonist from weak and unsure to strong and certain, or the relationship arc between two characters in a love story. It could be the trail of clues in a mystery. Have you added or deleted scenes during rewrites, or changed their order?  If a character is introduced in chapter 3, and not again till chapter 30, do they really need to be there? If they do, they must be mentioned a few times so the reader won’t forget about them. Have you played with the timeline? Does the story still make sense?

4. Don’t edit your writing to death – I’ve seen some unfortunate examples of writers revising the heart out of their work. Retain the vigour and imaginative breadth of your original vision. Nothing’s ever perfect. I’ll finish with a piece by American novelist Harry Crews.

“Graham Greene [said] “The writer is doomed to live in an atmosphere of perpetual failure.” There it is … every writer writes with the knowledge that nothing he writes is as good as it could be. Paul Valery said, “A poem’s never finished, only abandoned.” The same thing with a novel. It’s never finished, only abandoned. I’ve had any number of novels where I’ve just at some point said to myself, well, unless you’re going to make a career out of this book – spend the rest of your goddamn life chewing on it – you might as well just package it up and send it to New York.”

BB2013_Nominee

 

Don’t Be A Writer …

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Don't be a writerI’m deep into structural edits for my new novel, Billabong Bend, due out next year. The deadline is next week. I’m too busy to blog (already missed last week’s post) so my brother Rod Scoullar has sprung to my rescue. He writes terrific young adult fantasy as a hobby,  and has written a guest post. ‘It can be about anything,’ I said. This is what he came up with … (Love ya Rod x)

“Don’t be a writer.

A writer’s life is hard.  Oh it’s not hard to write – putting words on paper is easy.  It isn’t even that hard to put well written words on paper, words in well structured sentences, words that flow, words that evoke mood or place or situation.  I can do that.  You must do that if you are to be a writer.

Words are not enough though, even well written words.  The reader will weary of the sweetest prose if the plot is inadequate.  Poor characterisation will undermine any story regardless of the beauty of the writing.  Those are areas in which I fall down.  I’m not destined to be a writer; yet it isn’t for that reason.

I see how hard Jenny works.  I see the notebooks, constantly added to, dozens of them, full of words and ideas that might be useful, someday.  I see the effort that goes into the research.  I see the discipline that requires so many words must be written before day’s end.  I see the redrafting, the effort to fashion a scene just so.  I see the frustration when things don’t come together.

Then, when the manuscript is complete, as best it can be given the timeframe – professional writers have to work to deadlines – and sent to the publisher, back come the edits.  “Character X needs greater development early in the manuscript; the relationship between Y and Z should build more slowly; the resolution of the conflict in chapter seven seems contrived, etc.”  Those aren’t comments relating to Jennifer’s current manuscript in case you’re wondering.  Oh, and don’t self-publish without a professional edit.  Professional editors know what they’re about.  Ignore them and their advice at your peril.

I’m not prepared to put in the effort required to be published.  Writing something is easy.  Writing something worthwhile may be possible, but writing and rewriting and rewriting again is too much for me.  I don’t want to be a writer, not desperately.  It might be fun to try but, well, for me it’s all too much.  If you want to be a writer, want it because you can’t imagine yourself as anything else, then go for it; but understand – a writer’s life is hard.”

 

BB2013_Nominee

Save the Cat!

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Save the CatSave the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need (by the late Blake Snyder) is a simple, no-nonsense explanation of effective story structure. Ever since I attended Alexandra Sokoloff’s fabulous session at last year’s RWA Conference, I’ve been interested in how the movie world relates to novels. After reading Save the Cat! I’m more convinced than ever, that authors can learn a lot from screenwriters.

 

 

Blake SnyderLikeable protagonists, for example.This is where the title Save the Cat! comes in. Imagine a scene where the audience meets the hero of a movie for the first time. The hero does something nice—e.g. saving a cat—that makes the audience like him or her. It’s something very simple, that helps the audience invest themselves in the character and the story.

Similarly to Sokoloff, Snyder offers a sheet of necessary beats or movie plot points – essentially a blueprint for compelling screenplay structure. Making a story board with index cards is the next step. This approach is equally helpful for fiction, and particularly for popular fiction. Snyder breaks down narrative theory in a very straightforward way, and with a great sense of humor. He has a lot of tough things to say about elevator pitches and themes as well. Snyder says that if you can’t come up with a great single sentence log-line, you may not have a story.  And he says a movie’s thematic premise needs to be stated in the first five minutes. Yes, actually stated, in an offhand remark, or question that the main character doesn’t quite get yet. To do this, you need to know exactly what your story is about, right from the start. Honesty is the best policy perhaps, or Be careful what you wish for. Save the Cat 2Nailing theme and structure early on is great advice I think, for authors too.

As I work through my Currawong Creek edits, I’m keeping in mind all these screenwriting tricks. They’ll also guide the writing of my new book, helping to set the story on firm foundations.

BB2013_Nominee

Structural Editing

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This week I received an editorial report from Penguin for my upcoming novel Brumby’s Run. It looks at the ‘big picture’ stuff, targeting characterisation, pacing and plot, and it requires me to complete a minor redraft. For new writers, the editing process is a mysterious right of passage between submission and publication – secret author’s business, and I’d been eager to discover just what it involves. My wonderful editor feels ‘sure that with a little teasing out of the existing narrative, we’ll discover a new level of richness.’ Considering her intimate knowledge of the story, I’m sure she’s right. Seriously, she understands it better than I do. It was like she’d been sitting over my shoulder … like she’d been there when I was lazy, or in a hurry. She’d picked up on it every time.

The report contained no directions, only questions and suggestions. And there are plenty of those! I began to discover what a complicated and multi layered task lay before me. When you weave a new thread into the beginning of a narrative, it affects things all the way through – like going back in time changes history.

The first day I was paralysed. The next day I wrote an extra two thousand words and then deleted them.  But today, after reading the notes a hundred times, and reducing them to their essence in a dot point document … today I wrote a new chapter that I think addresses lots of the very legitimate issues raised. I’m getting a handle on the job ahead. Structural editing is widely considered to be the foundation of quality publishing, and I’m beginning to see why.